So this whole land of "not trying, not preventing" is a little wacky. On one hand we all know for me to conceive is takes a whole LOT OF TRYING to get there. Like YEARS of burning the candles at both ends trying. But on the other, I've actually had 3 af's on my own, all this year. It seems like my body making me have 1 about every three months, all on it's own. Which is amazing in itself.
So last week when I was feeling particularly squeamish about pizza. Extremely grumpy. And all over gross. I thought hey. Hmmmm.....I kind of felt like this when I was first pregnant with Callie. I had some internet cheapies..Lets test and I got THIS:
I don't know if you can see it. It was a little more obvious to the naked eye. Even Steve saw the second line. At first I was like, no way. Steve said the line was too faint. I carefully reminded him that I wasn't on any fertility drugs so a line is a line is a line. Then I decided to scour the internet for "false positive internet cheapies" and there were conflicting results. UGH!
So I decided to wait. And I waited. And I waited almost 5 whole days. I went out and bought a FRER digital that way I wouldn't have to decipher "line or no line" and got THIS:
This time I didn't get my hopes up, or have any of the dread or emotional fall out of a negative test. I mean we are kind of on the fence right now about actually TTC. We aren't quite ready. Meaning I am not ready. I'm not ready for the toll it takes, and in some weird way I don't want God to think I'm not grateful for Callie. Tempting fate and all that.
Then over the weekend I started spotting. But now it's gone. So I have NO idea whats going on. (any thoughts or suggestions?)
In other news. Callie is 14 months and just a ball of fun! I am loving this stage in her life. She is full of inquisitiveness and giggles! She is walking all the time and saying "uh-oh". She gives these amazingly juicy open mouthed wet kisses. She is very good at independent play unless she's hungry or tired. She just discovered belly buttons, and loves to open and close things. She LOVES music and will stop and dance anytime the beat moves her!