Last year I wrote a post regarding NIAW. I was 3 weeks away from becoming a mother for the first time. When I reread the post I sat back and thought about this past year and how amazing it has been.
This is what I wrote:
With my pregnancy coming to an end and our dream coming true in 3 short weeks, this does not change the fact that I am infertile. Our daughter would not exist if it wasn't for our amazing doctors and nurses, and our strength and perseverance. She is our miracle. Our struggles should not be forgotten or displaced. I will always be infertile, the hurt and pain of years of failed cycles will always be a part of our past and have made us the parents we will become. I will always hug my child a little tighter, kiss her a little more, and make sure she knows how very wanted and loved she is every single day.
These words resonate with me because they are still true. I steal kisses and hugs every chance I get. I forget a load of laundry to sing songs, and tickle bellys instead. I relish in the moments we have together, when its just the two of us at the park, or the rare 2am feeding when it feels like we are the only 2 people awake in the world. I still look into Callie's face with awe. I push all the "firsts" that seem important because I've wanted so long to experience them with my child.
As Steve and I were laying in bed last night we started talking about how quick this past year has gone by. How amazing it is that we have her. How surreal it still is to listen to her babbling to her stuffed monkey in the next room. How we hope to give her a sibling soon.
The hope. The hope in our voices has returned. Two years ago our hope was diminished. Our hope had been smashed to tiny bits and stomped on by negativity. And while we are back to struggling with the same issues, we know we can succeed because we never gave up hope. Our Callista is proof. Proof that hope and faith will guide us.
For more information
http://www.resolve.org/infertility101 (Basic understanding of the disease of infertility.)
http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html (About NIAW)