Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Raindrops on roses...

I am taking a cue from 999 Reasons to Laugh at Infertility and trying to find the humor in life right now. On top of the negative pregnancy blues, I'm also feeling the winter blues pretty early on in the season.

Now I know we're extremely blessed with loving friends and family. PLUS my darling husband is back to work so our finances have finally righted themselves. So it comes with great regret and I'm sorry to say this, and you'll probably never know otherwise, but for those of you on facebook who are my friends who update everyday about your pregnancy/new baby/not so new baby (which is probably about 1/2 of my friends..Ok, ok that's exaggerating) I didn't want to, but I had to hide you. It's for the sake of my sanity and frame of mind I did so. I'm sorry to act so selfish and I promise once out of my funk to properly reinstate you into my daily newsfeed. It just has to be right now. I feel broken and your body works. I don't want to feel jealous and it's exactly how I feel right now. Especially during the holidays. Please accept my apologies.

Ok, so moving on, we are also taking a break this month. For basically the same reasons. I need these measley 4 weeks to help relax my mind and cope with our situation. Since IUI is covered (THANK YOU LORD!) by our insurance we will keep trying, however, after 3 negative results the chances of it working decrease. We will need help and love to get past this, and motivate us to continue this journey as God sees fit. Our next step would be IVF and we just don't have that kind of money at this time. But I can say that our jar of change that was the "Fiji Fund" will promptly turn into our "IVF fun" if we decide it to be so. Stay tuned and hopefully it won't even have to come to that.

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Chinese Proverb

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