Monday, August 23, 2010

Mary, Mary quite contrary...

How does your garden grow?

Well I can tell you for a fact that mine does NOT seem to be growing with menopur. I went in Saturday for my CD8 scan and I had 5 measurable follies on my right ovary with the biggest being a 12. So they doubled my dosage of Menopur and wanted me back Monday (this) morning. I went in this morning hopeful, praying the whole way that all those little guys needed was a kick with the double dosage to grow, grow, grow. Well depressingly they didn't. My number of measurable follicles went UP to 9 measurable on my right and 4 on my left, but the largest still only being a 12. UGH! So now I'm at an impasse. I'm waiting on my "results" phone call of my bloodwork and to see what the nurse is going to want me to do about those darned guys growing. I'm hoping there aren't too many to make them to cancel the cycle, and I hope we can get this month's IUI in before I leave on Sunday for 3 days out of town. I'm just bummed and don't understand my body at all. There are some questions I have that I'm hoping can be answered by this afternoons follow up call and I'm going to write them down so I don't forget:

1. Why isn't the Menopur working like the Gonal-F?
2. Why did they grow so quick with the Gonal-F but they didn't release (no ovulation)?
3. Why was this whole "ovulation" thing working with the femara (pill) but not with injectables???????????????? (this is my biggest question)
4. Should we try to just go back to the femara + trigger and do an IUI? I mean I know it's only 1 mature egg, but at least it dropped and was ready!

I guess through all this I just thought that *BOOM* like lightning my struggles would be over and everytime they aren't. I actually really haven't considered myself (although I should have, by now sheesh!) an INFERTILE. Now it looms over my head like a label I can't shake. And boy oh boy, does this menopur make me emotional! Steve and I watched The Sixth Sense yesterday and I flippin' balled my eyes out! Who does that?

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