Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Infertility Etiquette...

Now that we've crossed that invisible line to being treated as an infertile couple, and have for the last year been using fertility drugs I find myself becoming more sensitive to people's responses/reactions. If you inquire be prepared for my honest answer. Number 1 on the list below is the wrong response to my answer to your question. I understand that many people do not know certain aspects about infertility or the direction you must take to succeed/move on. This is why I have saturated my brain with information on all aspects of my particular condition and have joined online groups to find more information (success stories!)

BUT there is something that I feel the need to pass on from an article I read recently.

My favorites include:

* Don't offer unsolicited advice, ie. "relax", "adopt, you'll get pregnant", etc.

* Don't push adoption early on.

* Don't complain about your pregnancy. And if you are pregnant, don't gloat over it too much around us.

* Don't be crude

* Don't minimize the problem

* Just be there for them. Offer a shoulder to lean on, a tissue, etc.

I'm not the only one going through this, and chances are there is more than one woman you know dealing with this right now (especially if you are in my age demographic). Some women choose not to openly speak about their struggles with infertility and that is their right. I would just like some people, to know, that just knowing could change what you might say to someone. On the other hand please don't exclude us because of this. We know you don't know what else to say, and we appreciate your concern, just rethink your response or don't say anything at all. HUGS are always welcome. Thank you.