Monday, April 4, 2011

Spring Awakening

Well April showers have hit southeastern Michigan and my daffodils are sprouting rather nicely. It's been a pretty chilly spring so far, but it's Michigan and that could always change ten minutes from now.

We had a lovely weekend. Steve and I went to visit our friends in Kalamazoo and we splurged on a hotel room so we could go swimming. We went and did all sorts of art-hoppy stuff and drank copious amounts of free wine (because we're not doing IUI this month so I can) I bought a ceramic berry bowl, and a new pair of boots. We bought some great prints from our good friend and photographer AJ Check out her website. Her pictures are amazing.

Steve at the Art Hop

Facebook is the devil. As AJ puts it "It's make everyone seem ten times cooler than they actually are." But it's the devil that I can't stop logging into. It's the devil in which my inadequacies with being able to conceive are reaffirmed almost daily. There is a pregnancy announcement at least once a week and I don't have thousands of "friends". I have an average amount of which I actually know. Two that were announced hit me especially hard this past week.

The reason they are bothering me more than the usual is because both of them are in their second pregnancies and we've been trying since before they were pregnant for the first time. (ONE IS EVEN PREGNANT NATURALLY WITH TWINS!) It feels kind of like a slap in the face. Not only have these women conceived, successfully given birth, but they have now conceived AGAIN in the time frame Steve and I have been trying for just one shot at being parents! It's completely frustrating, and I feel like a failure all over again. I am not blaming them (who can, I don't think either of them even know our TTC history anyway). I'm just jealous and I really don't like the feeling.

In other news I have come up with an IVF fundraising idea and it should help bring in the money to go into the "Miller Baby Fund". I am going to have an IVF Garage Sale. Our city is having their "city-wide" garage sale on May 21st and it's only $5 to get your address added to the garage sale map! I am thinking of asking friends and family to donate their gently used and unwanted items to the cause. This will be our first "in real life" coming out about our struggle to conceive event and it makes me slightly nervous. I'm hoping we will have some good items to sell. Wish me luck!


Faith said...

Ah, yes, facebook IS the devil. I was never able to open a page when TTC and believe it or not, I STILL can't. I still avoid it. Jealousy is normal. I have a friend who had her FOURTH baby before I had my first...yep, that sucks. I watched every single friend we had have babies. Every. single. one. I swear, my co-workers had one baby already (or more), started TTC, got pregnant, gave birth, went on maternity leave, came back from maternity leave, and were talking about TTC again when their babies were toddlers before I ever got my first miracle. It was all so insane, and I was a jealous monster! Hang in there....

Great plan for IVF fundraising!! So exciting! Good luck!!! Oh, and I don't miss that Michigan weather at all:) - I love waking up to sun every morning:). Enjoy, lol!

Holly said...

I know how you feel Sarah. It is the unmistakable feeling of being kicked in the gut. I laid in bed and cried for an entire day afer I found out a girl I work with (after trying for a whopping 2-3 months) was pregnant. To make it worse, I found out on FB by the dreaded ultrasound pic. I had been talking to her for months about TTC and she couldn't even tell me in person? I hate it. I hate the way it makes me feel. I hate that it was so easy for her. She got married in Sept and pregnant in December.

I really don't like FB some days. I have lucked out with mo pregnany announcements this week. Though it is only Tuesday...

Holly said...

I know how you feel. It is the unmistakable feeling of being licked in the gut. I laid in bed and cried for most of a day after I found out a girl I work with was pregnant. Not just that she was pregnant, but because I found out on FB through the dreaded ultrasound photo. Not to mention that I had been talking to her for months about TTC. She couldn't even tell me before doing that? I mean she knew for like 2 months. And that's about how long she tried too, 2-3 months. It really hurt. I can't stand the way it makes me feel.