Monday, September 19, 2011

Love in an elevator

I am having a hard time feeling like this is real. I have absolutely refused to purchase any book regarding pregnancy because I'm afraid we'll get to the ultrasound on Thursday and I won't need it and I'll be devastated. I am worried and anxious for Thursday to get here. I knew I would be. I have no reason to think this pregnancy isn't going swimmingly. I'm just afraid because we want this baby so terribly bad. I am having some symptoms but nothing too terrible. I have been more sleepy, I've had a few bouts of nausea, and my breasts are pretty tender, but really nothing out of the ordinary. It kinds of reminds me how I feel when I'm stimming for a cycle. Honestly I don't even know how I'm supposed to feel. I am completely happy one moment and the next I'm worried and nervous..

It really is reminding me of a paramount birthday like when you turn 16 or 21. Everyone asks "So do you feel 16?" I don't think I honestly answered that question with a "Yes I feel totally different now that I'm older." I don't feel much different. I still look like me.

I had a crazy dream last night that I went in for the ultrasound with my Mom (who isn't going to be there) and we found out we are having twins (would not be a total shocker) and Steve wasn't there. I was SO mad at him for not being there that I woke up still mad at him. He will be there Thursday, we are meeting there. Our appointment is at 10am.

Say a prayer our little "mini-muffin" is growing beautifully!

1 comment:

Rebecca said...

Awww.....don't worry!!!! Most DRs and books will tell you symptoms don't really show until 6 weeks. For me it wasn't until 6 and 1/2 weeks. And trust me! You won't be wondering how you are supposed to feel. I remember the second it hit me. The room started spinning. And if DH rubbed up against my chest I would practically cry if hurt so bad. Maybe you are one of the lucky ones who don't get sick! That would be awesome after everything you have been thru! :)